For each question, answer the question completely using proper English and make sure to proofread! You must also respond to at least one other student post to receive full credit.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Chapter Five-Realizing: Civilians and the Work of Mourning
Why did men during the Civil War dress in mourning far less than women? What is your opinion about how Americans during the Civil War handled the process of mourning?
Men mourned far less then women because "the work of mourning was largely allocated to women."(148)Mourning was also a right of passage for women at the time. "Many women struggled to find the garments that would enable them to participate in this rite of passage and display of respect."(149) According to Faust, "Formal observance of mourning created a sense of process, encouraging the bereaved to believe they could move through their despair...."(149) I also believe women dressed in mourning more as it soon became a popular fashion. "Advertisements in northern newspapers announced far greater variety and availability of wares both in specialty stores and in more general establishments like New York's Lord & Taylor, which opened its own mourning department in April 1863." (151-2) Mourning started new fashion designs as it made its way into "Godley's Lady Book, the most popular American women's periodical and the nation's most important arbiter of fashion..." (152) This book portrayed multiple outfit designs a women could wear depending on whether she was in full mourning or just half.
I believe the Americans of the Civil War handled mourning quite interestingly. Not only did they promenade around depressed, but they also wore clothes that signified it to others, desperately hoping for someone to help them through their despair. "I don't wear black because it becomes me... I wear mourning because it corresponds with my feelings."- Nannie Haskins of Tennessee (149) I do find it odd though that they would take something like mourning and make a fashion out of it, as they had clothing designers design attire based on different stages of mourning. This is shown as "a women near Fredericksburg could not decide whether to don mourning in 1863, for she was "not willing to leave off col[ors], unless she can procure a handsome outfit in black...."" If i had to choose, i would say that the Civil War Americans handled mourning decently well, even if they standards for mourning were a bit theatrical.
The work of mourning was largely allocated to women.” (148). Men dressed in mourning far less than women because society placed huge pressures on women to mourn more deeply than men. For example, while a “widow mourned for two and a half years moving through prescribed accoutrements of heavy, full, and half mourning. A widower, by contrast, was expected to mourn only for three months, simply by displaying black crape on his hat or armband. (148). While society did pressure women, I think they wanted to completely face death and get over it, and men wanted more to forget it. Although women became obsessive with mourning, making it- as Jordan said, fashionable, men simply wore “armbands for lost kin, badges and rosettes” (148).
“Formal observance of mourning created a sense of process, encouraging the bereaved to believe they could move through their despair” (149). Mourning was a great process to help people, especially women, overcome the devastating loss of a loved one. Mourning clothes were “an outward and visible sign of an inward invisible state” (149). Because of this, people could feel sympathetic for a mourner without having to talk about it. Mourning garb was also respectful to lost loved ones; the clothing “would enable them to participate in this rite of passage and display of respect.” (149).
I believe Civil War Americans were completely capable of handling death, just not the magnitude of it. However, while the fatalities where astronomical, I think that their process of mourning did help tremendously. Mourning clothes did significantly help citizens to overcome despair. As Nannie Haskins stated, ‘What do I care whether it becomes me or not? I don’t wear black because it becomes me… I wear mourning because it corresponds with my feelings.’ (149). Although mourning may have been different during the Civil War, it was still in my opinion effective.
Mourning was observed much more by women then men because of society's pressure. Women were mourned for two and a half years. In this period they passed through levels of heavy, full, and half mourning. As CJ said, widowers were expected to only mourn for three months. Women and men had totally different views and ways of mourning because of their differences. Women wanted to honor those who died, but they also wanted to grieve. So for mourning they handled loved ones death with a head - on outlook. For the men, they just wanted to be done with it, they had been there and had seen the war. It was there on way of 'mourning'.
But not only did women have society's pressure to mourn but also fashion. Even now fashion has influenced how women tend to dress, but then it had another meaning. Just modern day fashion magazines, Godley's Lady Book designated fashion. It gave styles about how to mourn in 'fashion'. It displayed the fashions for each type of mourning and became a new way to grieve. But it wasn't always about how "black was supposed to be becoming".
I think that Americans of this time were able to handle the deaths, but they weren't entirely prepared for it. Realizing the factors of the deaths was on of the hardest parts of the war. And through out the chapters before this the evidence is clear, they weren't able to realize the number of deaths taken. But the mourning helped. and it got the American's through the difficult process. It was effective.
I agree that mourning was an effective process of the Civil War. Mourning clothes were effective as well. It seemed like clothes eased the mourners into the process. But as Nannie Haskins said, " I don't wear black because it is becoming, I wear it to express my feelings." I agree with everything you said.
"The work of mourning was largely allocated to women." Mourning became a type of fashion during the Civil War and a kind of ritual in my opinion. For instance, there were rules on when a woman should mourn, how long and what actions she should partake in during the process. A widow must mourn for two and a half years. "[She also must move] through prescribed stages and accoutrements of dress and department." However a man was only expected to "mourn for 3 months, simply by displaying black crape on his hat or armband." These differences in mourning reinstate the idea that mourning was for women. Women and men also had different views on mourning. Susan Caldwell was eager to mourn for her child's death and follow the rituals of mourning, but her husband prohibited it. He said, "You have too many things already to remind you of your bereavement and oppress your spirits- and our pecuniary circumstances will not permit it." Susan replied sadly saying," My dress at present corresponds but little with my mournful aching heart but I am willing to do as you wish." Mourning was an effective process during the Civil War. It helped people to take their mind of the death. "Women sought the solace they hoped the costumes and customs of mourning could provide." And, as CJ stated, it seemed like clothes eased the mourners into the process. However I do believe that mourning was way too much about fashion. Mourners should have been allowed to mourn however they liked, rather than mourning by rules. It appeared to me that some women’s "mourning" was more of a fashion statement.
Sarah Welton- I completely agree with the points you made. I too believe that people during the Civil War were equipped to handle the deaths, just not prepared, especially for the quantities. I also believe that mourning helped and got Americans through the process. Excellent job!
“Civil War fatalities belonged ultimately to the survivors; it was they who had to undertake the work… of consolation and mourning.” (143). Those that were left behind had to find a way to deal with their grief, and women, far more than men, expressed this through the clothes that they wore. I believe the reason for this is because this was one of the only ways that they knew how to mourn. It also seemed that the society had “expectations” for women that required them to mourn differently than men did. “A widow mourned for two and a half years, moving through prescribed stages and accoutrements of heavy, full, and half mourning, with gradually loosening requirements of dress and deportment.” (148). Stores even opened up morning departments to accommodate the needs of mourning. Men had their own way of mourning, but they instead wore “…tokens of mourning, armbands for lost kin, badges and rosettes…”(148). I think that the men didn’t openly mourn as much as the women also because of what society expected of them. “ Men would find it especially difficult to acknowledge their sorrow and truly mourn,” because it would be seen as “unmanly.” (167).
I do think this process helped the women deal with their grief. It created a “sense of process,” that allowed them to move through their grief like the clothes that they wore. Also, by showing their grief by the way they dressed, women were “promised the consolation of visibly shared misery.” (149). Relating to others was important in finding comfort in their loss.
I think that those left behind handled their losses the only way they knew how and that was, mainly for the women, by showing “An outward and visible sign of an inward invisible state.” (149). I think they handled it the way that helped those in mourning be able to hopefully get through it.
In response to Jordan, I agree with your statement “…i would say that the Civil War Americans handled mourning decently well, even if they standards for mourning were a bit theatrical.” They did seem to care a whole lot about what they were wearing, but if the dress was symbolic of their emotional state and that helped them go through the process of grief, it wa probably a good idea for them to be able to do that.
Although men were not "prepared for the force of grief that overtook” (167) them, they found wearing mourning garb and grieving outward rather difficult. Grief seemed to "challenge and erode masculinity" (167). Men did not want to appear unmanly by showing sorrow for their loss. They left it to women to "express their sorrow" (150) and dress themselves in the appropriate mourning dresses. Men simply wore "tokens of mourning, armbands for lost kin, badges and rosettes" (148). Such visible showing of grief gave survivors a sense of hope that their mourning process would gradually move forward just like their change in clothing.
I believe that even though Americans seemed very dramatic about handling grief, they coped very well considering the circumstances of the Civil War. They believed in moving forward and hoped to return to their normal selves using whatever means they could- religion, visible displays, and acknowledgement of their loss. They did not want to mourn longer than necessary or abandon their basic morals because of sorrow. Instead of dwelling on their pain, they sought ways to better themselves in order to return to normal living. I would have great difficulty overcoming such an ordeal, so I greatly respect their attempts at mastering their grief.
You made a very good point when you brought up mourning garb as a sense of fashion. In the time of the Civil War, it became a common norm for all women- almost an expectation to visibly show their grief. Although it started as a simple sign of respect for the dead, I believe it eventually became a practical trend to keep up with changing society. Very good point.
When it came to mourning for the loss of a loved one, the men were far less emotional about the situation than the women were. The women would often mourn for months for a lost family member and as more soldiers died, more women had started to dress in mourning colors. The women started to think that the mourning colors were starting to become a fashion. The fashion design started to have more designs and eventually made its way to into a book that was written by Godley lady, the most important figure in fashion. The book had numerous outfit designs that women could wear depending on how distraught they were of losing a loved one. How American citizens handled mourning was very interesting because there were two ways you could tell someone had lost a sibling, they either walked around depressed or wore dark colors a lot. I believe that fashion was one very awkward thing that the people in that time had made out of mourning clothes. The fashion designers would design the clothes for different stages of mourning. Even if the standards of mourning were very awkward the people handled it very well.
I agree with what CJ had said. Mourning was an effective process during the times of the Civil War. The clothes the mourners decided to wear worked exceptionally well for the mourner. I completely agree with your response.
Men during the Civil War would mourn far less than women because “the work of mourning was largely allocated to women.” (184). “A widower, by contrast, was expected to mourn only for three months, simply by displaying black cape on his hat or armband.” The men would only have a little thing to mourn for a little time but the women would mourn for a while. Mrs. Lincoln would mourn for the rest of her life after her husband’s assassination, showing that women mourn a long time. “Many women struggled to find the garments that enable them to participate in this rite of passage and display of respect.”(149)
My opinion on how Americans during the Civil War handled the process of mourning is that they were able to handle the mourning. I believe they didn’t mourn too long to go on with their lives and in the idea of war stay to the cause. They would not mourn as much to get back to normal because at this time many people were dying, so it may not have effected them as much.
I agree with what you said about the mourning of men and women. I like that you said that Men dressed in mourning far less than women because society placed huge pressures on women to mourn more deeply than men. That was a good point. I like all the quotations from the book you gave. I also agree with your opinion on how Americans handled mourning during this time. Good job.
I believe that men expressed mourning less than women for two reasons. Fist off, men are less emotional by nature. The book said that it only took 3 months for a man to get over his wives death, while the women takes around 2 years. Another is that men need to be less emotional to concentrate on the war. I think thet men and women handled the mourning very well. The way that they expressed their feeling with visual aid in the close they wore is very personal. You also see this expresion through clothing in modern times.
Hank Hammond I agree with Golight because the men and woman did handle the mourning process very well. Even in todays war there is sadness for the loss of loved ones, and there always will be. Also the way that they expressed their sadness visually as well as emotional. This is why I think that the civilians handled mourning very well.
Men dressed in mourning far less then women during the Civil War for various reasons. Chief among these is the idea that openly participating in mourning could be considered a “display of unmanliness.”(167). The idea of a man partaking in an act that was so commonly associated with women proved to be a powerful deterrent. Also, for women, mourning was socially accepted, if not encouraged. The various publications depicting mourning garb as fashionable, such as "Godley's Lady Book, the most popular American women's periodical and the nation's most important arbiter of fashion..." (152), made mourning seem even more like a gender exclusive practice.
I feel that Americans put too much emphasize on the process of mourning during the civil war. I can acknowledge the fact that some form of coming to terms with the passing of a loved one is certainly necessary. Yet, Civil War Americans suffocated themselves with thoughts of anguish and despair. Every where they looked it seemed that they would have been reminded in some fashion of the losses they had endured. Civil War Americans offered themselves no escape or possibility to move on with their lives. By making the process of mourning a central aspect of their culture, Civil War Americans created an atmosphere that focused almost entirely on the negative side of death.
Men mourned far less than women in the Civil War for a couple of reasons. "The work of mourning was largely allocated to women."(148) Society expected women to mourn for their lost loved ones. They would mourn for 2 and a half years if their husband died. Men would mourn for three months. Also, women would only mourn 6 months for a brother. In war, men don't love their comrades like a spouse, but like a brother so they mourned less. Women would wear many different black garments to show their sadness, and pick up new ones to show their stages. If their husband just died they would wear "black silks, veils, and crape of heavy mourning."(149) After a couple of years when they were getting over it they would wear "grays and lavenders that half mourning introduced."(149) They would focus on clothes to distract themselves from their grief possibly and give them something to concentrate on. Where as men would only wear black arm bands, or badges and rosettes. To show emotion for a man would be more feminine and would interfere with the war. Even if a man was as upset as a woman he would not show it.
I believe that Americans during the Civil War handled mourning more extravagantly than today. Our mourning process hasn't changed too much from then. We both would mourn and wear black on the funeral. We both would still mourn but they would wear black much longer. It is hard to say how much a women mourns. Back then, even if they were over it they would still wear the proper mourning attire. And now, they could still be mourning but not want to show it. All in all they handled it well and moved on with their lives.
I agree with you when you said "The idea of a man partaking in an act that was so commonly associated with women proved to be a powerful deterrent." Society expected women to mourn greatly and so for a man to mourn greatly it would make him seem more like a woman. Men don't want that so they would show what everyone else expected them to even if it was much more. Also, you said that Americans put too much emphasize on death, and "Americans created an atmosphere that focused almost entirely on the negative side of death." Of course they did, there isn't a positive side of death. I agree that they went a little too far, but it was because a loved one died. They weren't just taking a side of death; they were taking THE side of death.
Women mourned more than the men because men are not as emotional as women are. Being a woman myself I can relate to this. When men face death they take it differently than most women. Of course they are sad of the lost loved one, but they do not mourn for months or years over that person. Therefore, women in the Civil War time period found it completely necessary to dress the way their feelings were. Also, I think that women wanted to show their respect for the soldiers that fought for them. Where as the men during this time, did not want to be reminded of their sorrows. A man named Lycurgus said to his wife after their son had died, "You have too many things already to remind you of your bereavement and oppress your spirits--and our pecuniary circumstances will not permit it." (150).
I think that Americans handled the process of mourning very well. No one wants to face death like the people during the Civil War had to do. Maybe they went a little over the top, but I think that whatever it takes to get you through a death, then you should do it. Experiencing so many deaths at once would be extremely hard to do, and I have a lot of respect for how Americans handled it back then.
Men dressed in mourning during the Civil War far less than women for a few reasons. First of all, mourning had become associated with women. It was common for women to mourn for quite a long time, as apposed to men. Women were more open about their emotions. For a man to spend time mourning, it appeared to challenge their masculinity. A man only tended to mourn for a few months. Another reason for women to dress more in mourning was the fact that it had almost become fashionable to do so. There had become so many options of clothing for women to wear in mourning. It had come to a point where clothing for mourning had its own section in a store and was advertised in the newspapers. Men, on the other hand, were the ones at war most of the time. They would honor the dead briefly, and then fight again in hope that they were not next.
I think that American during the Civil War handled mourning pretty well. Although I think it is odd that men were not as open with there emotions as women, I understand that constantly being around death might give you a shield against mourning. I also find it a little strange that mourning became a “fashion” for women and that stores had a specific section for those clothes. I think that people handle mourning a little different these days.
I agree that the way people mourned was effective, though a little strange. I also agree that people did not quite realize how many people were actually dying. Unless you were actually there, I am not sure how you would know the amount of lost lives from the war. I think that mourning did help, like you have stated.
Throughout the Civil War, men and women mourned about their lost loved ones. Both women and men portrayed their sorrows and emotions upon their clothing. Girls and women normally showed their feelings by wearing “black veils, black crape”without the gloss,” and black jewelry.” (147) If a lady was halfway done with her mourning, she would probably wear grey or lavender pieces of clothing. Men, on the other hand, wore armbands, badges, and rosettes as tokens of mourning. Due to their distinct role in society, men mourned a lot less than women. While in the war, they had no time or the mental strength to mourn since death was all around them. Most of the time, men mourned for a couple weeks to a couple months, but women mourned from a couple months to a few years.
Americans during the Civil War handled the act of mourning in the most peculiar yet effective way. I understand that they wanted to convey their saddened emotion on their outside appearance rather than express their sorrow verbally. This way of dressing probably eased the pain and made it easier for them to take their mind off their loved one’s passing.
Well said. You are right in saying that some women dressed that way to pay tribute to all the loved ones lost during the war. It was very respectful. In today’s society, when a soldier dies in Iraq, families still mourn and show their sorrows in similar ways to the families back in the Civil War.
Men dressed in mourning far less then women was becuase "the work of mourning was largely allocated to women". (allocated- 1 : to apportion for a specific purpose or to particular persons or things : distribute 2 : to set apart or earmark : designate.) The women were expected to be heavy mourners where the men wern't. The men were to busy, as they were participating in war, to mourn where the women were ready to mourn and would look for special clothes and costumes to show they were in the process of mourning.
I believe that during the Civil War people put to much thought into mourning. Mourning should be about what you lost and who you lost but instaed it was looked apon as a necessity. Mourning should'nt ne about what you are wearing or how you dress but how you feel. Even men should have a "right" to mourn.
I disagree and also agree with you when you said that we mourn very much the same as they did during the civil war. Yes we do wear black and yes we do mourn but we don't have special stores and men mourn and show it now. Men try and not show emotion and not to mourn these days but they mourn in their own ways. Our ways have somewhat stayed the same but the act of mourning has also changed a lot.
Women dressed for mourning more than men because the act was dirrected more for women as a way to show respect. It was seen as moore as the womens duty to show their mourning through dress. They had entire shops full of mourning attire for women. I think that the way that mourning was handled was fine with dressing in black. I do think though that it was incredably over done with the different stages that could take well over a year. But you must respect the dead through mourning but it does not need to be so ellaberate.
When you said mourning should be how you feel. I think the men were mourning, but were not expressing it as freely as the women were. The women did not know the actual war circumstances. For many of the men, they might have been next to a friend that was shot right in front of them. So, as far as men should have the "right" to mourn, like Tori mentioned, I think the men did mourn. But the men mourned in quiet and did not express their emoitions as the women had done.
Men mourned far less than women in the Civil War for many reasons. First, "the work of mourning was largely allocated to women," (148). Also, society put pressure of women to mourn each child, brother, sister, or husband for a certain amount of time. Women would represent their stage of mourning by the clothing they wore. During heavy mourning, women would wear "flat black silks, veils..." (149). While in full mourning, women would wear white trim and collars. And finally, as half mourning began, women would wear "grays and lavenders... until at last they fully returned to the world and their customary attire," (149). On the other hand, men mourned far less. A man who had just lost his wife was "expected to mourn for only three monthes, simply by displaying black crape on his hat or armband," (148). Most men felt that mourning was a "display of unmanliness," (167).
In my opinion, people during the Civil War focused too much on mourning and grieving, instead of coming to terms with the death of a loved one. I understand that many people lost many people close to them, but mourning for so long just caused women to live in sadness and grief.
During the Civil War, men dressed in mourning far less than women for many reasons. One of the main reasons to me, was that men were the ones fighting in the war, leaving women at home waiting for them. Back then women's job was to care for men and I think this caused the deaths to hit them harder. Another point is that women felt dressing in mourning as something they had to do, "to participate in this rite of passage and display of respect." (149) To dress in mourning was mostly set aside for women. Compared to men's clothing, women's clothing for mourning was much more attainable, and there was more of a selection. Like Matt Coen said, men had no time or strength to mourn since death was all around in the war. But, men did mourn, just far less. They would wear armbands, badges, and rosettes to show there respect to the soldiers.
My opinion is that the mourning during the Civil War was too public and mourning should be left private for families. I understand that they were much more proper then compared to now, but they didn't have to be so open about it. The women and men mourning created a mourning country.
I agree with you that mourning should be about what and who you lost instead of a necessity. It should be about how you feel, but for some reason, during the Civil War wearing the mourning attire was showing others how you feel. I don't agree with this, I think you should be able to wear what you want when you are feeling this way, but it was their custom. The people of the Civil War wanted to stay proper, oddly enough, while grieving.
I agree that the act of mourning was made too public over the course of the Civil War. Because mourning attire was considered a necessity, people would be reminded of the losses they had suffered everywhere they looked. This would serve only to cast the nation into deeper despair.
During the Civil War "the work of mourning was largely allocated to women."(148)This was primarily because of the social pressures on women to mourn and grieve for an extensive period of time. As stated previously a widow was expected to grieve the loss of a loved one for an astounding two and a half years while widowers were expected to mourn for a by comparison mere three months. This was brought upon them because women were in a position of always being those expected to face and remember the death while men were the ones to simply find a way to get over it and move on. This pressure really came because it was so common to lose a loved one and the mourning process became something of a trend and as stated above being in mourning became so common that it even made its way to catalogs as mourning attire became something of a trend. In all, society made the standards of men to be the strong rock and foundation that was to hide his mourning process and emotions from society, and women were given the standards of mourning over an extensive amount of time. It isn’t that men were any less capable of mourning then woman; it was simply that this type of display of emotion was the expectation at that time.
I feel that in this time there was far too much focus and pressure on the mourning process and it made it incredibly difficult to move on. The fact of the matter is that more than 600,000 mothers, sisters, and wives lost their loved one to the war. When that many people are affected I can understand that this would become a trend because it was so common, but to create social pressure on how long a man or women was to mourn the death of a loved one is wrong. Losing someone you love is an important and intimate time between you and god, and for that part of your life to become so public, and to wear that process on your sleeve really I feel hurts the process of losing someone, and healing. For there to be a social standard on grievance shows how dark this time was, but I still feel that the way the individual went about his or her way of healing wasn't right, and it ultimately made it far more difficult to do so.
I really liked the way you put together your answer and it was very well said. I especially liked what you said about how "Civil War Americans suffocated themselves with thoughts of anguish and despair." I definitely agree with this statement because like you said they were constantly surrounding themselves in pain, darkness and death. When an entire society forces this upon themselves it makes for a heck of a time to heal. Americans in this time should have found a better way to move on, because to wrap oneself in that type of pain can only hurt and slow the grieving process.
I believe during the Civil War men mourned far less than women for a few reassons. First Men needed to be focus on the war itself, so if they were called to arms and moved to the frontlines. They needed to be focus. Also Women would either lose a brother, son, husband, or a father in the war and they would mourn for a long period of time, but men don't mourn as much as women because they got over it quickly. I thought Many people handled mourning well during the Civil War. But what i thought was uncalled for was wearing black clothes in public to show their despair over a loved ones death. I beleive they should have dressed like that for the funeral of their fallen soldier and keep their despair to themselves and family.
Tanner i agree with your statement and i liked how you refered back to the text about how long men or woman would mourn for their loved ones. Either if it six months or two years for the mourning process to come to halt. And i think that they took mourning to whole new level by haveing black badges and black hats i thought that was interesting.
During the Civil War men dressed in mourning far less than women for several reasons. Foremost is the fact that, “the work of mourning was largely allocated to women” (148). Women were fine with displaying their emotions, but on the other hand men were not. Henry Bowditch who was grieving over the loss of his son judged that he was “ill fitted to see anyone” and that he was afflicted by his “display of unmanliness” (167). Men were supposed to move on and get over the grieving, while women dressed in mourning because they believed it would get them through their despair.
In my opinion, Americans during the Civil War mourned the death of a loved one for far too long. They needed to come to terms with their lost and move on. I think mourning relieved people of pain and sorrow quite effectively but because the process was so long it brought unnecessary grief and sadness to the nation.
I agree with your statement when you said that women dressed in mourning as a show of respect for the dead. You also made a good point when you said that it was incredibly overdone and elaborate, but that you should respect the dead through mourning.
During the Civil War, men dressed in mourning far less than women for various reasons. Men did show that they were mourning, wearing "armbands for lost kin, badges and rosettes" (page 148) but "A widower, by contrast, was expected to mourn only for three months, simply by displaying black crape on his hat or armband. The work or mourning was largely allocated to women" (page 148). When men mourned, it was seen as a show of unmanliness, and they did not want to be associated with something that is done publicly more so by women than men. Mourning was also almost made into a fashion- "Many women struggled to find the garments that would enable them to participate in this rite of passage and display of respect" (page 149). Women needed others to see their mourning, possibly in hopes of solace and the comforting words of others. They "sought the solace they hoped the costumes and customs of mourning could provide", and "Formal observance of mourning created a sense of process, encouraging the bereaved to believe they could move through their dispair, which might evolve through stages of grief represented by their changing clothing" (page 149).
I think that overall, Americans handled the process of mourning fairly well during the Civil War. However, I do disagree with the way mourning seemed to almost turn into a fashion contest, with women trying to find fashionable mourning clothes. To me, it is just strange that they had magazines filled with mourning outfits for the different stages. It was very overdone, but Americans did well when respecting the dead through mourning.
Men in the Civil War dress in mourning far less than women for several reasons. Women feel that dressing in blacks and grays is a way to show what they are feeling inside, or as Nannie Haskins stated, “I wear mourning because it corresponds with my feelings,” (149). Men did not wear nearly as much mourning attire because they felt that it was not necessary to add another reminder of their loss and also because it affected their wallet. It is said, “The work of mourning was largely allocated to women,” (145). I believe Americans tried to handle the process of mourning as best as they could. To some, a loss of a life was just another death. During the Civil War, Americans found it very difficult to grieve and mourn their lost loved ones. The family members that survive the lost love one often find themselves in denial for a long period of time. Faust described the situation as being “particular circumstances created by the Civil War often inhibited mourning,” because it made it near “impossible for many bereaved Americans to move through the stages of grief,” (144). Many American families who lost loved ones were deprived of the experience of seeing them after their death, making it very difficult for them to connect the death to reality.
In response to Larissa Davis: You described the way the typical American handled their grieving process in a unique yet accurate way. "They believed in moving forward and hoped to return to their normal selves using whatever means they could- religion, visible displays, and acknowledgement of their loss." I believe that using visible displays as a way to accept their loss might be a way to make up for the visible display that most families were denied, the actual body of the dead. This may have been a way for the family members to cope with what they are denied.
Society had alot to play with the fact that during the Civil War, men mourned far less than women. Mourning was the fashionable thing to do for women then. That is part of how the society put pressure on women to mourn. Like as others have stated above, a widow is usually in mourning for around two and a half years. Where a widower is only mourning for around three months. I think women just want to get the deprission over with and move on where I believe men held on to there loved ones by wearing "tokens of mourning, armbands for lost kin, badges and rosettes," (148).
I think that Americans handled the process of mourning quite well. But I don't like the idea of mourning turning fashionable. I think that may have many mourn not to there like or it comes natural to them.
Men mourned far less than the women because society pressured women more than it pressured men. Women were required to go through certain stages of mourning over the period of about two and a half years. The men also didn't feel the need to dress in mourning because they thought that the clothing was just an unwanted reminder of their loss, and they didnt want to spend the extra money to get mourning clothes. Men moved on much faster than the women did. It was frowned upon for the women to cut their mourning time short. I think that the women should have mourned for much less time. They would have been much better off if they had simply moved on after mourning for a short time.
I agree with Jenni Robinson. I think America handled mourning well too. And I agree that the whole mourning fashion fab was bad. I don't know how else to discribe that other than pointless. It is strange how they had magazines filled with mourning outfits. But maybe they would think the same of us today with what were doing.
In response to Amy Bowman I agree that most families had trouble believing that their loved one was dead, because they never saw the body, and therefore making it difficult to come to grips with reality. They probably went through many years of denial before believing that their husband, son, or brother would never come home.
During the Civil War, it was clear that men dressed in mourning far less than their feamle counterparts and this was due to several deifferent factors. First of all, it was thought during this time that showing their sorrow and grief would somehow "challenge and erode masculinity" (167) and this was definitely something that all men wanted to avoid. Also, another belief of these times was that "The work of mourning was largely allocated to women"(148)and this made many men hide what they were feeling and work hard not to allow their pain to be shown. These two reasons and the fact that men were expected to move on quicker and diminish the pain of loosing a loved one made the males of the 19th century keep all emotions buried and mourn secretly.
I feel that the families did a pretty good job handling the process of mourning throughout the time of war because, although, they seem to have done most of what we do today when we lose a friend or relative, they mourned for a longer period of time. Or they at least dressed like they were still mourning. I do find it a bit peculiar, though, that a whole fashion was started because of all the people that were mourning the loss of a loved one but i guess it shouldnt be to big a surprise, for people have always been ready to make money when an opportunity presents itself. Overall the people did a good job mourning those dead.
I agree with the fact that people should have been given more freedom when mourning their loss "rather than mourning by rules". I also feel that they made this time of mourning too much about the clothing that was worn to express what they felt and think that is would have been better if this was not of such importance and the families didn't have to worry about wearing the correct apparel.
During the Civil War, men dressed in mourning considerably less than women did for a couple of reasons. One, there were far less options for men than there were for women. While men chose between armbands and badges as a token of their mourning, women had a selection of “‘walking costume’, a dinner dress, an evening dress, a ‘visiting dress’, a ‘bridal toilet,’ or perhaps a ‘reception dress’” to flaunt their grief. Accompanying these dresses were a large assortment of accessories such as “Black Crape Grenadines, Black Balzerines, Black Baryadere Bareges, Black Bareges, Black Barege Hernani, Silk Grenadines, Challies, Summer Bombazines, Mousseline de Laines, Tamises, Mourning Silks . . .” (152) The lists of women’s’ Civil War bereavement clothing goes on endlessly. Mourning was a societal trend, a status symbol. “Mourning clearly did not dictate seclusion; the fashionable—and wealthy—bereaved woman sought appropriate attire for a wide range of social activities.” (152) One fixation that has remained common among women throughout history is the magnitude of social status, the American Civil War being no exception. This brings us to the second justification of the lack of mournful apparel in the nineteenth century male. At the risk of sounding rather superficial, I must disclose that men, regardless of century, make a great effort to conceal their feelings. When the finality of his son’s death dawned on him, Henry Bowditch sought “‘concealment’ from others lest they witness the feelings he could not hide” (167). Bowditch is the perfect example of how men attempt to hide their feelings. He was “distressed by his ‘display of unmanliness’” (167). Faust tells us that “in its implications of loss of control and weakness, grief seemed to challenge and erode masculinity” (167). Mourning was simply not a tolerable act for men perpetrate; they wanted to appear stronger than others. Unlike men, women “sought the solace they hoped the costumes and customs of mourning could provide.” (149) Nannie Haskins, a teenage girl living in Tennessee at the time of the Civil War wrote, “‘I wear mourning because it corresponds with my feelings.’” (149) Faust declares that “mourning garb was . . . an outward and visible sign of an inward invisible state” (149). Seeing as men strive to keep their “inward invisible state” invisible, they most certainly would not “long for a way to express [their] sorrow” (150) like Susan Caldwell of Virginia did. Men are clearly not as eager to mourn as women are. “We are literally a land of mourning.” (149) During the Civil War, mourning was considered a process that brought relief. I believe that each American had his own way of handling this process. “The Civil War’s carnage required that death be given meaning.” (170) In the eyes of Civil War America, mourning was a way in which to find this meaning and purpose to a loved one’s life. Seymour and Cross preached how “Sorrow calls for sympathy. Compassion is better than counsel . . .” They wanted the suffering to be shared and universal; which, unfortunately, was precisely that. The soaring death toll produced a “uniformed sorority of grief” (149). Despite a few variations on the topic, all mourners kept one thing in mind: The Good Death. “The Good Death was the foundation for the process of mourning.” Each American, North and South, desperately wanted the “consolations that the ars moriendi offered” (167). Civil War Americans mourned the way everyone mourns: the only way they know how. The Americans knew that the way in which they conducted themselves after a loved one’s death was the eternal memorial given to him. They knew that death was a “foundation for both spiritual and social immortality—for eternal life and lasting memory.” (163) And they knew that the work of mourning that had been taught would bring a “gradual end to the agony of loss.” (166) However elaborate mourning was made by Civil War Americans, it was just what they needed to end the “suffering of the not-dead” (161).
RE: Erin I agree with your statement about how mourning became a woman’s ritual during the Civil War. “Mourning became a type of fashion during the Civil War and a kind of ritual in my opinion.” I’m glad that you share my views on the subject. I also like how you made quite a few comparisons between the way men and women mourn. You wrote, “Women and men also had different views on mourning. Susan Caldwell was eager to mourn for her child's death and follow the rituals of mourning, but her husband prohibited it.” Good job on finding a situation in the book that demonstrated both the man and woman’s view of mourning!
During the Civil War men dressed in mourning far less than women for a few reasons. Men felt that dressing in mourning would make them less of a man. Women were fine with showing their emotions while men were not.
I feel that the Americans handled mourning to the best that they could. Some felt it was just another death, while others felt it was very hard to get over.
I agree with you saying that the Americans handled it well. But I disagree with you saying that they should not have worn black clothing out in public to show they are mourning. If they choose to show people in public that they are mourning then that is their decision.
I agree with many of your statements, especially that fashion “made mourning seem even more like a gender exclusive practice.” You made great points to illustrate how “Americans put too much emphasis on the process of mourning during the civil war.” I agree that Americans “suffocated themselves with thoughts of anguish and despair.” There were already enough reminders of the devastation the war had caused, even without the millions of people walking around as remembrance.
I believe women dressed in mourning far more than men because "the work of mourning was largely allocated to women" (148). Women were pressured by society to be in a state of mourning more than men, which also leads to their dress. Society, even now, influences how people act and dress. So if, during that time, it was 'popular' to dress in black and to be in mourning, then people would do it.
I also think that men mourned less than women because it has always been a pressure in society for men to be 'strong', or to protect the woman. Therefore, they would not show as much emotion over a death.
I believe that Americans at that time handled mourning to the best of their ability. They did what they thought was the best way to honor the dead, while still grieving. Now, of course, things would be different. But, it seems like they handled mourning very well considering all that was happening.
You say that you believe women should have mourned for less time, and I actually agree with you. I think it may have helped American recover more quickly if everyone had cut their mourning short and moved on, no matter how hard it was.
Men in the civil war would dress in mourning far less than woman because it was “a display of unmanliness.” (p.167). Also men in that time were more often then not, the main money maker in the household, and if they were too caught up in grieving, would not be making the money the family needed to survive. The process is similar today, men don’t like to show the “weakness” in mourning for very long, but the one who makes money can come from either men or women.
"The work of mourning was largely allocated to women." I believe that men dressed in mourning far less than women because most men were in the war and had become more immune to death in order to focus on their duty in the war.
Hank made a great point that men took about 3 months to 'get over' hiswife's death, while it took about 2 years for a woman to get over her husband's death.
I feel that everyone in the US during the time of Civil War, and most any war, were very well prepared for death. Although, in the Civil War I don't think that anyone was prepared for the large numbers of death, especially because of the fact that all of the fighting was between the United States. I feel that the process of mourning during the war was very personal with the clothes they wore and how they felt about each death.
During the Civil War, Men dressed less mournfully than women for a few reasons. The man reason was, "The work of mourning was largely allocated to the women." (148) Basically, mourning was the woman's "job" during the war era. Men also showed morning but much less then women did; as shown, "By convention, a mother mourned a child for a year, a child for a parent the same, a sister six months for a brother. A widow mourned two and a half years, moving through prescribed stages and accoutrements of heavy, full, and half mourning, with gradually loosening requirements of dress and deportment. A widower, by contrast, was expected to mourn only for three months." The ratio of how long a woman mourned her husband, and how long a man mourned his wife is 1:10. Also, women had to undergo full outfit adjustments to mourn men simply, "...wore tokens of mourning, armbands for lost kin, badges and rosettes..." Simple knick-knacks sufficed for men's mourning.
I feel that Americans during the Civil War handled the mourning process very poorly. It seems almost sexist that women had to change their entire wardrobe to mourn, and men only had to wear a knick-knack for a month or two. Also I think that women were honorable for wanting to show respect and love for their dead loved ones, but could've "toned it down" a little bit. Wearing all black for two years is a little much.
During the Civil War men dressed far less than women in mourning because when it came down to grieving about the close ones that had been lost, men were not as emotional as the women. Women would spen d much more to, close to about three months, grieving over the lost ones. however, the men weren't as emotional as them so they did take the time to grieve like the women did. Women also started to believe that the mourning colors were becoming a fashion. The process of how American citizens during the Civil War handled mournig was very interesting, and my opinion on it would be that it was handled appriotely and in the best possible way that they could. The fact that they handled that thety had lost one or more loved ones to war was a bog concept, and as I said before the did the best they could.
The role of man and woman during this time period is a good thing to look at when comparing the amount of time each sex mourned the loss of loved ones. The women of that time were the emotional "backers" of the family, and the men were the ones who had to just "deal with it." This compares to battle, where the men were emotionally drained due to constant violence. They simply had no time to mourn. The woman on the other hand didn't due much to the war effort, so they had plenty of time to reflect and mourn. I believe tat the way people mourned in that time was fitting for their time period and culture. It looks different when I look at it in comparison to today, which lacks the communication delay that those back then had.
Stephanie, Well said. I agree that some mourned longer than others, and we can't really put an average up to show how much everyone mourned. It really depends on his/her circumstances.
I agree with both your statements, "It seems almost sexist that women had to change their entire wardrobe to mourn, and men only had to wear a knick-knack for a month or two." and "women could have "toned it down" a little bit. Wearing all black for two years is a little much." I think the women mourned far too much and the men didn't mourn enough.
In response to Hank Hammond- I agree with you that men are ,by nature, less emotional than women and that the men need to focus more on the fighting then on mourning if they were to survive. I also agree that showing your pain through clothing is very personal and that it can be found in modern day clothing as well.
I agree with your statement that "mourning seemed to almost turn into a fashion contest." I believe that dressing in different mourning outfits for a year,like many women did during the Civil War was over the top
Brian- Although I feel men should've mourned a little bit more, you make a phenomenal point when you say, "This compares to battle, where the men were emotionally drained due to constant violence. They simply had no time to mourn." These men fought all the time and were likely trained to not get emotional. Then again deaths happening constantly around you is training in itself.
During the Civil War, men dressed in mourning far less than women for many reasons. The first is not many men were in mourning as women. Another reason men dressed in mourning less than women is that it was customary for men to dress in mourning for a shorter period of time, such as three months or a year versus six months to two and a half years. I believe they handled mourning appropriately, even though it could be difficult to find clothing to dress in mourning and even more difficult to get information or to verify the death of a soldier.
During the Civil War, women dressed in mourning in many more ways, for a much longer time, than men. I think this could be for a variety of reasons, and maybe it is simply because women wanted to mourn in different ways than men did. But I believe that the women dressed in mourning more than men because it was expected of them too. In fact, mourning clothes even began to become stylish. However, for men, it was considered "unmanly" to mourn for long periods of time, and it showed a weakness.
I personally do not agree or disagree with their way of mourning, because I don't believe that it is my place to do so. I think that mourning is a different and personal thing from person to person, and that what works for one person may not necessarily work for another person. I just think the main hope is to heal the wounds that loss has on the heart, and I think that what ever works to help with that healing, is the right thing to do for the individual.
I definitely agree with what you said in your post, especially that "the Americans handled mourning to the best that they could". I think that mourning is different for everyone, and it just depends on what can bring you the most relief.
In response to Sarah Welton I really like what you said about the men wanting the men to get the mourning over with. It was a good way to put it. I also thought it was great how you put in the part about the fashion aspect, because I know that I forgot to put that in my response.
During the Civil War, women dressed in mourning more than the men did. This was due to the society and the place they had within the society. Women were to mourn more then the men because of their status. They showed their feeling and emotions through their clothes. Most women wore black and faded into the grays and purples as the mourning stages went on. The men had mourned through armbands and clothes but for a much more shorter period of time. Men would mourn for three months versus the six monthed or even the two and a half years the women had mourned.
I believe that they Americans had processed mourning in an intresting and different way. Now a days men and women usually don't mourn to the extremes of wearing a particular color for an amount of time. I think that if that was the way it was easiest for them to help deal with the loss then it is all the better for them. I don't think it should be judged because of the extreme amount of losses and heartach all the people were going through. I be
I agree with Brian because it is definatly different form today's people who mourn. I think that it was fit for them then becausse of the circumstances they had and the extreme amount of losses. I also agree with Katie because it was very personal and between the United States. This caused a lot of grief and turmoil.
Mourning was largely allocated to women because of the huge amount of pressure on them from society which made them mourn for so long and far more than men. Also it was because most men did not have time to mourn. Men in the war could not mourn or it would affect them too much in the field of battle. Because of this men tried to not make friends with other soldiers because if and when they died they did not want to go into mourning them and be sad. Mourning also helped women through the death of loved ones and is somewhat a right of passage for them. Even with the vast numbers of deaths I think that Americans handled mourning very well by almost making it a ceremony which helped them overcome their despair.
Sarah I like your concept that people were able to handle death but they were not prepared for it, I think that was entirely true during this time. Also that the men wanted it to be over because of the fact that they were in the war was there way of mourning
Men mourned far less then women because "the work of mourning was largely allocated to women."(148)Mourning was also a right of passage for women at the time. "Many women struggled to find the garments that would enable them to participate in this rite of passage and display of respect."(149) According to Faust, "Formal observance of mourning created a sense of process, encouraging the bereaved to believe they could move through their despair...."(149) I also believe women dressed in mourning more as it soon became a popular fashion. "Advertisements in northern newspapers announced far greater variety and availability of wares both in specialty stores and in more general establishments like New York's Lord & Taylor, which opened its own mourning department in April 1863." (151-2) Mourning started new fashion designs as it made its way into "Godley's Lady Book, the most popular American women's periodical and the nation's most important arbiter of fashion..." (152) This book portrayed multiple outfit designs a women could wear depending on whether she was in full mourning or just half.
ReplyDeleteI believe the Americans of the Civil War handled mourning quite interestingly. Not only did they promenade around depressed, but they also wore clothes that signified it to others, desperately hoping for someone to help them through their despair. "I don't wear black because it becomes me... I wear mourning because it corresponds with my feelings."- Nannie Haskins of Tennessee (149) I do find it odd though that they would take something like mourning and make a fashion out of it, as they had clothing designers design attire based on different stages of mourning. This is shown as "a women near Fredericksburg could not decide whether to don mourning in 1863, for she was "not willing to leave off col[ors], unless she can procure a handsome outfit in black...."" If i had to choose, i would say that the Civil War Americans handled mourning decently well, even if they standards for mourning were a bit theatrical.
The work of mourning was largely allocated to women.” (148). Men dressed in mourning far less than women because society placed huge pressures on women to mourn more deeply than men. For example, while a “widow mourned for two and a half years moving through prescribed accoutrements of heavy, full, and half mourning. A widower, by contrast, was expected to mourn only for three months, simply by displaying black crape on his hat or armband. (148). While society did pressure women, I think they wanted to completely face death and get over it, and men wanted more to forget it. Although women became obsessive with mourning, making it- as Jordan said, fashionable, men simply wore “armbands for lost kin, badges and rosettes” (148).
ReplyDelete“Formal observance of mourning created a sense of process, encouraging the bereaved to believe they could move through their despair” (149). Mourning was a great process to help people, especially women, overcome the devastating loss of a loved one. Mourning clothes were “an outward and visible sign of an inward invisible state” (149). Because of this, people could feel sympathetic for a mourner without having to talk about it.
Mourning garb was also respectful to lost loved ones; the clothing “would enable them to participate in this rite of passage and display of respect.” (149).
I believe Civil War Americans were completely capable of handling death, just not the magnitude of it. However, while the fatalities where astronomical, I think that their process of mourning did help tremendously. Mourning clothes did significantly help citizens to overcome despair. As Nannie Haskins stated, ‘What do I care whether it becomes me or not? I don’t wear black because it becomes me… I wear mourning because it corresponds with my feelings.’ (149). Although mourning may have been different during the Civil War, it was still in my opinion effective.
Mourning was observed much more by women then men because of society's pressure. Women were mourned for two and a half years. In this period they passed through levels of heavy, full, and half mourning. As CJ said, widowers were expected to only mourn for three months. Women and men had totally different views and ways of mourning because of their differences. Women wanted to honor those who died, but they also wanted to grieve. So for mourning they handled loved ones death with a head - on outlook. For the men, they just wanted to be done with it, they had been there and had seen the war. It was there on way of 'mourning'.
ReplyDeleteBut not only did women have society's pressure to mourn but also fashion. Even now fashion has influenced how women tend to dress, but then it had another meaning. Just modern day fashion magazines, Godley's Lady Book designated fashion. It gave styles about how to mourn in 'fashion'. It displayed the fashions for each type of mourning and became a new way to grieve. But it wasn't always about how "black was supposed to be becoming".
I think that Americans of this time were able to handle the deaths, but they weren't entirely prepared for it. Realizing the factors of the deaths was on of the hardest parts of the war. And through out the chapters before this the evidence is clear, they weren't able to realize the number of deaths taken. But the mourning helped. and it got the American's through the difficult process. It was effective.
CJ
ReplyDeleteI agree that mourning was an effective process of the Civil War. Mourning clothes were effective as well. It seemed like clothes eased the mourners into the process. But as Nannie Haskins said, " I don't wear black because it is becoming, I wear it to express my feelings." I agree with everything you said.
"The work of mourning was largely allocated to women." Mourning became a type of fashion during the Civil War and a kind of ritual in my opinion. For instance, there were rules on when a woman should mourn, how long and what actions she should partake in during the process. A widow must mourn for two and a half years. "[She also must move] through prescribed stages and accoutrements of dress and department." However a man was only expected to "mourn for 3 months, simply by displaying black crape on his hat or armband." These differences in mourning reinstate the idea that mourning was for women. Women and men also had different views on mourning. Susan Caldwell was eager to mourn for her child's death and follow the rituals of mourning, but her husband prohibited it. He said, "You have too many things already to remind you of your bereavement and oppress your spirits- and our pecuniary circumstances will not permit it." Susan replied sadly saying," My dress at present corresponds but little with my mournful aching heart but I am willing to do as you wish."
ReplyDeleteMourning was an effective process during the Civil War. It helped people to take their mind of the death. "Women sought the solace they hoped the costumes and customs of mourning could provide." And, as CJ stated, it seemed like clothes eased the mourners into the process. However I do believe that mourning was way too much about fashion. Mourners should have been allowed to mourn however they liked, rather than mourning by rules. It appeared to me that some women’s "mourning" was more of a fashion statement.
Sarah Welton-
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with the points you made. I too believe that people during the Civil War were equipped to handle the deaths, just not prepared, especially for the quantities. I also believe that mourning helped and got Americans through the process. Excellent job!
“Civil War fatalities belonged ultimately to the survivors; it was they who had to undertake the work… of consolation and mourning.” (143). Those that were left behind had to find a way to deal with their grief, and women, far more than men, expressed this through the clothes that they wore. I believe the reason for this is because this was one of the only ways that they knew how to mourn. It also seemed that the society had “expectations” for women that required them to mourn differently than men did. “A widow mourned for two and a half years, moving through prescribed stages and accoutrements of heavy, full, and half mourning, with gradually loosening requirements of dress and deportment.” (148). Stores even opened up morning departments to accommodate the needs of mourning. Men had their own way of mourning, but they instead wore “…tokens of mourning, armbands for lost kin, badges and rosettes…”(148). I think that the men didn’t openly mourn as much as the women also because of what society expected of them. “ Men would find it especially difficult to acknowledge their sorrow and truly mourn,” because it would be seen as “unmanly.” (167).
ReplyDeleteI do think this process helped the women deal with their grief. It created a “sense of process,” that allowed them to move through their grief like the clothes that they wore. Also, by showing their grief by the way they dressed, women were “promised the consolation of visibly shared misery.” (149). Relating to others was important in finding comfort in their loss.
I think that those left behind handled their losses the only way they knew how and that was, mainly for the women, by showing “An outward and visible sign of an inward invisible state.” (149). I think they handled it the way that helped those in mourning be able to hopefully get through it.
In response to Jordan,
ReplyDeleteI agree with your statement “…i would say that the Civil War Americans handled mourning decently well, even if they standards for mourning were a bit theatrical.” They did seem to care a whole lot about what they were wearing, but if the dress was symbolic of their emotional state and that helped them go through the process of grief, it wa probably a good idea for them to be able to do that.
Although men were not "prepared for the force of grief that overtook” (167) them, they found wearing mourning garb and grieving outward rather difficult. Grief seemed to "challenge and erode masculinity" (167). Men did not want to appear unmanly by showing sorrow for their loss. They left it to women to "express their sorrow" (150) and dress themselves in the appropriate mourning dresses. Men simply wore "tokens of mourning, armbands for lost kin, badges and rosettes" (148). Such visible showing of grief gave survivors a sense of hope that their mourning process would gradually move forward just like their change in clothing.
ReplyDeleteI believe that even though Americans seemed very dramatic about handling grief, they coped very well considering the circumstances of the Civil War. They believed in moving forward and hoped to return to their normal selves using whatever means they could- religion, visible displays, and acknowledgement of their loss. They did not want to mourn longer than necessary or abandon their basic morals because of sorrow. Instead of dwelling on their pain, they sought ways to better themselves in order to return to normal living. I would have great difficulty overcoming such an ordeal, so I greatly respect their attempts at mastering their grief.
Jordan-
ReplyDeleteYou made a very good point when you brought up mourning garb as a sense of fashion. In the time of the Civil War, it became a common norm for all women- almost an expectation to visibly show their grief. Although it started as a simple sign of respect for the dead, I believe it eventually became a practical trend to keep up with changing society. Very good point.
When it came to mourning for the loss of a loved one, the men were far less emotional about the situation than the women were. The women would often mourn for months for a lost family member and as more soldiers died, more women had started to dress in mourning colors. The women started to think that the mourning colors were starting to become a fashion. The fashion design started to have more designs and eventually made its way to into a book that was written by Godley lady, the most important figure in fashion. The book had numerous outfit designs that women could wear depending on how distraught they were of losing a loved one.
ReplyDeleteHow American citizens handled mourning was very interesting because there were two ways you could tell someone had lost a sibling, they either walked around depressed or wore dark colors a lot. I believe that fashion was one very awkward thing that the people in that time had made out of mourning clothes. The fashion designers would design the clothes for different stages of mourning. Even if the standards of mourning were very awkward the people handled it very well.
I agree with what CJ had said. Mourning was an effective process during the times of the Civil War. The clothes the mourners decided to wear worked exceptionally well for the mourner. I completely agree with your response.
Men during the Civil War would mourn far less than women because “the work of mourning was largely allocated to women.” (184). “A widower, by contrast, was expected to mourn only for three months, simply by displaying black cape on his hat or armband.” The men would only have a little thing to mourn for a little time but the women would mourn for a while. Mrs. Lincoln would mourn for the rest of her life after her husband’s assassination, showing that women mourn a long time. “Many women struggled to find the garments that enable them to participate in this rite of passage and display of respect.”(149)
ReplyDeleteMy opinion on how Americans during the Civil War handled the process of mourning is that they were able to handle the mourning. I believe they didn’t mourn too long to go on with their lives and in the idea of war stay to the cause. They would not mourn as much to get back to normal because at this time many people were dying, so it may not have effected them as much.
CJ,
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you said about the mourning of men and women. I like that you said that Men dressed in mourning far less than women because society placed huge pressures on women to mourn more deeply than men. That was a good point. I like all the quotations from the book you gave. I also agree with your opinion on how Americans handled mourning during this time. Good job.
I believe that men expressed mourning less than women for two reasons. Fist off, men are less emotional by nature. The book said that it only took 3 months for a man to get over his wives death, while the women takes around 2 years. Another is that men need to be less emotional to concentrate on the war. I think thet men and women handled the mourning very well. The way that they expressed their feeling with visual aid in the close they wore is very personal. You also see this expresion through clothing in modern times.
ReplyDeleteHank Hammond
ReplyDeleteI agree with Golight because the men and woman did handle the mourning process very well. Even in todays war there is sadness for the loss of loved ones, and there always will be. Also the way that they expressed their sadness visually as well as emotional. This is why I think that the civilians handled mourning very well.
Men dressed in mourning far less then women during the Civil War for various reasons. Chief among these is the idea that openly participating in mourning could be considered a “display of unmanliness.”(167). The idea of a man partaking in an act that was so commonly associated with women proved to be a powerful deterrent. Also, for women, mourning was socially accepted, if not encouraged. The various publications depicting mourning garb as fashionable, such as "Godley's Lady Book, the most popular American women's periodical and the nation's most important arbiter of fashion..." (152), made mourning seem even more like a gender exclusive practice.
ReplyDeleteI feel that Americans put too much emphasize on the process of mourning during the civil war. I can acknowledge the fact that some form of coming to terms with the passing of a loved one is certainly necessary. Yet, Civil War Americans suffocated themselves with thoughts of anguish and despair. Every where they looked it seemed that they would have been reminded in some fashion of the losses they had endured. Civil War Americans offered themselves no escape or possibility to move on with their lives. By making the process of mourning a central aspect of their culture, Civil War Americans created an atmosphere that focused almost entirely on the negative side of death.
Men mourned far less than women in the Civil War for a couple of reasons. "The work of mourning was largely allocated to women."(148) Society expected women to mourn for their lost loved ones. They would mourn for 2 and a half years if their husband died. Men would mourn for three months. Also, women would only mourn 6 months for a brother. In war, men don't love their comrades like a spouse, but like a brother so they mourned less. Women would wear many different black garments to show their sadness, and pick up new ones to show their stages. If their husband just died they would wear "black silks, veils, and crape of heavy mourning."(149) After a couple of years when they were getting over it they would wear "grays and lavenders that half mourning introduced."(149) They would focus on clothes to distract themselves from their grief possibly and give them something to concentrate on. Where as men would only wear black arm bands, or badges and rosettes. To show emotion for a man would be more feminine and would interfere with the war. Even if a man was as upset as a woman he would not show it.
ReplyDeleteI believe that Americans during the Civil War handled mourning more extravagantly than today. Our mourning process hasn't changed too much from then. We both would mourn and wear black on the funeral. We both would still mourn but they would wear black much longer. It is hard to say how much a women mourns. Back then, even if they were over it they would still wear the proper mourning attire. And now, they could still be mourning but not want to show it. All in all they handled it well and moved on with their lives.
Nick Burns,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you when you said "The idea of a man partaking in an act that was so commonly associated with women proved to be a powerful deterrent." Society expected women to mourn greatly and so for a man to mourn greatly it would make him seem more like a woman. Men don't want that so they would show what everyone else expected them to even if it was much more. Also, you said that Americans put too much emphasize on death, and "Americans created an atmosphere that focused almost entirely on the negative side of death." Of course they did, there isn't a positive side of death. I agree that they went a little too far, but it was because a loved one died. They weren't just taking a side of death; they were taking THE side of death.
Women mourned more than the men because men are not as emotional as women are. Being a woman myself I can relate to this. When men face death they take it differently than most women. Of course they are sad of the lost loved one, but they do not mourn for months or years over that person. Therefore, women in the Civil War time period found it completely necessary to dress the way their feelings were. Also, I think that women wanted to show their respect for the soldiers that fought for them. Where as the men during this time, did not want to be reminded of their sorrows. A man named Lycurgus said to his wife after their son had died, "You have too many things already to remind you of your bereavement and oppress your spirits--and our pecuniary circumstances will not permit it." (150).
ReplyDeleteI think that Americans handled the process of mourning very well. No one wants to face death like the people during the Civil War had to do. Maybe they went a little over the top, but I think that whatever it takes to get you through a death, then you should do it. Experiencing so many deaths at once would be extremely hard to do, and I have a lot of respect for how Americans handled it back then.
Men dressed in mourning during the Civil War far less than women for a few reasons. First of all, mourning had become associated with women. It was common for women to mourn for quite a long time, as apposed to men. Women were more open about their emotions. For a man to spend time mourning, it appeared to challenge their masculinity. A man only tended to mourn for a few months. Another reason for women to dress more in mourning was the fact that it had almost become fashionable to do so. There had become so many options of clothing for women to wear in mourning. It had come to a point where clothing for mourning had its own section in a store and was advertised in the newspapers. Men, on the other hand, were the ones at war most of the time. They would honor the dead briefly, and then fight again in hope that they were not next.
ReplyDeleteI think that American during the Civil War handled mourning pretty well. Although I think it is odd that men were not as open with there emotions as women, I understand that constantly being around death might give you a shield against mourning. I also find it a little strange that mourning became a “fashion” for women and that stores had a specific section for those clothes. I think that people handle mourning a little different these days.
Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI agree that the way people mourned was effective, though a little strange. I also agree that people did not quite realize how many people were actually dying. Unless you were actually there, I am not sure how you would know the amount of lost lives from the war. I think that mourning did help, like you have stated.
Throughout the Civil War, men and women mourned about their lost loved ones. Both women and men portrayed their sorrows and emotions upon their clothing. Girls and women normally showed their feelings by wearing “black veils, black crape”without the gloss,” and black jewelry.” (147) If a lady was halfway done with her mourning, she would probably wear grey or lavender pieces of clothing. Men, on the other hand, wore armbands, badges, and rosettes as tokens of mourning. Due to their distinct role in society, men mourned a lot less than women. While in the war, they had no time or the mental strength to mourn since death was all around them. Most of the time, men mourned for a couple weeks to a couple months, but women mourned from a couple months to a few years.
ReplyDeleteAmericans during the Civil War handled the act of mourning in the most peculiar yet effective way. I understand that they wanted to convey their saddened emotion on their outside appearance rather than express their sorrow verbally. This way of dressing probably eased the pain and made it easier for them to take their mind off their loved one’s passing.
Re: Danielle Sheehan
ReplyDeleteWell said. You are right in saying that some women dressed that way to pay tribute to all the loved ones lost during the war. It was very respectful. In today’s society, when a soldier dies in Iraq, families still mourn and show their sorrows in similar ways to the families back in the Civil War.
Men dressed in mourning far less then women was becuase "the work of mourning was largely allocated to women". (allocated-
ReplyDelete1 : to apportion for a specific purpose or to particular persons or things : distribute
2 : to set apart or earmark : designate.) The women were expected to be heavy mourners where the men wern't. The men were to busy, as they were participating in war, to mourn where the women were ready to mourn and would look for special clothes and costumes to show they were in the process of mourning.
I believe that during the Civil War people put to much thought into mourning. Mourning should be about what you lost and who you lost but instaed it was looked apon as a necessity. Mourning should'nt ne about what you are wearing or how you dress but how you feel. Even men should have a "right" to mourn.
Tanner Corah-
ReplyDeleteI disagree and also agree with you when you said that we mourn very much the same as they did during the civil war. Yes we do wear black and yes we do mourn but we don't have special stores and men mourn and show it now. Men try and not show emotion and not to mourn these days but they mourn in their own ways. Our ways have somewhat stayed the same but the act of mourning has also changed a lot.
Women dressed for mourning more than men because the act was dirrected more for women as a way to show respect. It was seen as moore as the womens duty to show their mourning through dress. They had entire shops full of mourning attire for women. I think that the way that mourning was handled was fine with dressing in black. I do think though that it was incredably over done with the different stages that could take well over a year. But you must respect the dead through mourning but it does not need to be so ellaberate.
ReplyDeleteTori Kelly,
ReplyDeleteWhen you said mourning should be how you feel. I think the men were mourning, but were not expressing it as freely as the women were. The women did not know the actual war circumstances. For many of the men, they might have been next to a friend that was shot right in front of them. So, as far as men should have the "right" to mourn, like Tori mentioned, I think the men did mourn. But the men mourned in quiet and did not express their emoitions as the women had done.
Men mourned far less than women in the Civil War for many reasons. First, "the work of mourning was largely allocated to women," (148). Also, society put pressure of women to mourn each child, brother, sister, or husband for a certain amount of time. Women would represent their stage of mourning by the clothing they wore. During heavy mourning, women would wear "flat black silks, veils..." (149). While in full mourning, women would wear white trim and collars. And finally, as half mourning began, women would wear "grays and lavenders... until at last they fully returned to the world and their customary attire," (149). On the other hand, men mourned far less. A man who had just lost his wife was "expected to mourn for only three monthes, simply by displaying black crape on his hat or armband," (148). Most men felt that mourning was a "display of unmanliness," (167).
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, people during the Civil War focused too much on mourning and grieving, instead of coming to terms with the death of a loved one. I understand that many people lost many people close to them, but mourning for so long just caused women to live in sadness and grief.
During the Civil War, men dressed in mourning far less than women for many reasons. One of the main reasons to me, was that men were the ones fighting in the war, leaving women at home waiting for them. Back then women's job was to care for men and I think this caused the deaths to hit them harder. Another point is that women felt dressing in mourning as something they had to do, "to participate in this rite of passage and display of respect." (149) To dress in mourning was mostly set aside for women. Compared to men's clothing, women's clothing for mourning was much more attainable, and there was more of a selection. Like Matt Coen said, men had no time or strength to mourn since death was all around in the war. But, men did mourn, just far less. They would wear armbands, badges, and rosettes to show there respect to the soldiers.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion is that the mourning during the Civil War was too public and mourning should be left private for families. I understand that they were much more proper then compared to now, but they didn't have to be so open about it. The women and men mourning created a mourning country.
Tori Kelly,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that mourning should be about what and who you lost instead of a necessity. It should be about how you feel, but for some reason, during the Civil War wearing the mourning attire was showing others how you feel. I don't agree with this, I think you should be able to wear what you want when you are feeling this way, but it was their custom. The people of the Civil War wanted to stay proper, oddly enough, while grieving.
Kristine
ReplyDeleteI agree that the act of mourning was made too public over the course of the Civil War. Because mourning attire was considered a necessity, people would be reminded of the losses they had suffered everywhere they looked. This would serve only to cast the nation into deeper despair.
During the Civil War "the work of mourning was largely allocated to women."(148)This was primarily because of the social pressures on women to mourn and grieve for an extensive period of time. As stated previously a widow was expected to grieve the loss of a loved one for an astounding two and a half years while widowers were expected to mourn for a by comparison mere three months. This was brought upon them because women were in a position of always being those expected to face and remember the death while men were the ones to simply find a way to get over it and move on. This pressure really came because it was so common to lose a loved one and the mourning process became something of a trend and as stated above being in mourning became so common that it even made its way to catalogs as mourning attire became something of a trend. In all, society made the standards of men to be the strong rock and foundation that was to hide his mourning process and emotions from society, and women were given the standards of mourning over an extensive amount of time. It isn’t that men were any less capable of mourning then woman; it was simply that this type of display of emotion was the expectation at that time.
ReplyDeleteI feel that in this time there was far too much focus and pressure on the mourning process and it made it incredibly difficult to move on. The fact of the matter is that more than 600,000 mothers, sisters, and wives lost their loved one to the war. When that many people are affected I can understand that this would become a trend because it was so common, but to create social pressure on how long a man or women was to mourn the death of a loved one is wrong. Losing someone you love is an important and intimate time between you and god, and for that part of your life to become so public, and to wear that process on your sleeve really I feel hurts the process of losing someone, and healing. For there to be a social standard on grievance shows how dark this time was, but I still feel that the way the individual went about his or her way of healing wasn't right, and it ultimately made it far more difficult to do so.
In Response to Nick
ReplyDeleteI really liked the way you put together your answer and it was very well said. I especially liked what you said about how "Civil War Americans suffocated themselves with thoughts of anguish and despair." I definitely agree with this statement because like you said they were constantly surrounding themselves in pain, darkness and death. When an entire society forces this upon themselves it makes for a heck of a time to heal. Americans in this time should have found a better way to move on, because to wrap oneself in that type of pain can only hurt and slow the grieving process.
I believe during the Civil War men mourned far less than women for a few reassons. First Men needed to be focus on the war itself, so if they were called to arms and moved to the frontlines. They needed to be focus. Also Women would either lose a brother, son, husband, or a father in the war and they would mourn for a long period of time, but men don't mourn as much as women because they got over it quickly.
ReplyDeleteI thought Many people handled mourning well during the Civil War. But what i thought was uncalled for was wearing black clothes in public to show their despair over a loved ones death. I beleive they should have dressed like that for the funeral of their fallen soldier and keep their despair to themselves and family.
In response to Tanner
ReplyDeleteTanner i agree with your statement and i liked how you refered back to the text about how long men or woman would mourn for their loved ones. Either if it six months or two years for the mourning process to come to halt. And i think that they took mourning to whole new level by haveing black badges and black hats i thought that was interesting.
During the Civil War men dressed in mourning far less than women for several reasons. Foremost is the fact that, “the work of mourning was largely allocated to women” (148). Women were fine with displaying their emotions, but on the other hand men were not. Henry Bowditch who was grieving over the loss of his son judged that he was “ill fitted to see anyone” and that he was afflicted by his “display of unmanliness” (167). Men were supposed to move on and get over the grieving, while women dressed in mourning because they believed it would get them through their despair.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, Americans during the Civil War mourned the death of a loved one for far too long. They needed to come to terms with their lost and move on. I think mourning relieved people of pain and sorrow quite effectively but because the process was so long it brought unnecessary grief and sadness to the nation.
Jeremiah-
ReplyDeleteI agree with your statement when you said that women dressed in mourning as a show of respect for the dead. You also made a good point when you said that it was incredibly overdone and elaborate, but that you should respect the dead through mourning.
During the Civil War, men dressed in mourning far less than women for various reasons. Men did show that they were mourning, wearing "armbands for lost kin, badges and rosettes" (page 148) but "A widower, by contrast, was expected to mourn only for three months, simply by displaying black crape on his hat or armband. The work or mourning was largely allocated to women" (page 148). When men mourned, it was seen as a show of unmanliness, and they did not want to be associated with something that is done publicly more so by women than men. Mourning was also almost made into a fashion- "Many women struggled to find the garments that would enable them to participate in this rite of passage and display of respect" (page 149). Women needed others to see their mourning, possibly in hopes of solace and the comforting words of others. They "sought the solace they hoped the costumes and customs of mourning could provide", and "Formal observance of mourning created a sense of process, encouraging the bereaved to believe they could move through their dispair, which might evolve through stages of grief represented by their changing clothing" (page 149).
ReplyDeleteI think that overall, Americans handled the process of mourning fairly well during the Civil War. However, I do disagree with the way mourning seemed to almost turn into a fashion contest, with women trying to find fashionable mourning clothes. To me, it is just strange that they had magazines filled with mourning outfits for the different stages. It was very overdone, but Americans did well when respecting the dead through mourning.
Men in the Civil War dress in mourning far less than women for several reasons. Women feel that dressing in blacks and grays is a way to show what they are feeling inside, or as Nannie Haskins stated, “I wear mourning because it corresponds with my feelings,” (149). Men did not wear nearly as much mourning attire because they felt that it was not necessary to add another reminder of their loss and also because it affected their wallet. It is said, “The work of mourning was largely allocated to women,” (145).
ReplyDeleteI believe Americans tried to handle the process of mourning as best as they could. To some, a loss of a life was just another death. During the Civil War, Americans found it very difficult to grieve and mourn their lost loved ones. The family members that survive the lost love one often find themselves in denial for a long period of time. Faust described the situation as being “particular circumstances created by the Civil War often inhibited mourning,” because it made it near “impossible for many bereaved Americans to move through the stages of grief,” (144). Many American families who lost loved ones were deprived of the experience of seeing them after their death, making it very difficult for them to connect the death to reality.
In response to Larissa Davis:
ReplyDeleteYou described the way the typical American handled their grieving process in a unique yet accurate way. "They believed in moving forward and hoped to return to their normal selves using whatever means they could- religion, visible displays, and acknowledgement of their loss." I believe that using visible displays as a way to accept their loss might be a way to make up for the visible display that most families were denied, the actual body of the dead. This may have been a way for the family members to cope with what they are denied.
Society had alot to play with the fact that during the Civil War, men mourned far less than women. Mourning was the fashionable thing to do for women then. That is part of how the society put pressure on women to mourn. Like as others have stated above, a widow is usually in mourning for around two and a half years. Where a widower is only mourning for around three months. I think women just want to get the deprission over with and move on where I believe men held on to there loved ones by wearing "tokens of mourning, armbands for lost kin, badges and rosettes," (148).
ReplyDeleteI think that Americans handled the process of mourning quite well. But I don't like the idea of mourning turning fashionable. I think that may have many mourn not to there like or it comes natural to them.
Men mourned far less than the women because society pressured women more than it pressured men. Women were required to go through certain stages of mourning over the period of about two and a half years. The men also didn't feel the need to dress in mourning because they thought that the clothing was just an unwanted reminder of their loss, and they didnt want to spend the extra money to get mourning clothes. Men moved on much faster than the women did. It was frowned upon for the women to cut their mourning time short. I think that the women should have mourned for much less time. They would have been much better off if they had simply moved on after mourning for a short time.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jenni Robinson. I think America handled mourning well too. And I agree that the whole mourning fashion fab was bad. I don't know how else to discribe that other than pointless. It is strange how they had magazines filled with mourning outfits. But maybe they would think the same of us today with what were doing.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Amy Bowman
ReplyDeleteI agree that most families had trouble believing that their loved one was dead, because they never saw the body, and therefore making it difficult to come to grips with reality. They probably went through many years of denial before believing that their husband, son, or brother would never come home.
During the Civil War, it was clear that men dressed in mourning far less than their feamle counterparts and this was due to several deifferent factors. First of all, it was thought during this time that showing their sorrow and grief would somehow "challenge and erode masculinity" (167) and this was definitely something that all men wanted to avoid. Also, another belief of these times was that "The work of mourning was largely allocated to women"(148)and this made many men hide what they were feeling and work hard not to allow their pain to be shown. These two reasons and the fact that men were expected to move on quicker and diminish the pain of loosing a loved one made the males of the 19th century keep all emotions buried and mourn secretly.
ReplyDeleteI feel that the families did a pretty good job handling the process of mourning throughout the time of war because, although, they seem to have done most of what we do today when we lose a friend or relative, they mourned for a longer period of time. Or they at least dressed like they were still mourning. I do find it a bit peculiar, though, that a whole fashion was started because of all the people that were mourning the loss of a loved one but i guess it shouldnt be to big a surprise, for people have always been ready to make money when an opportunity presents itself. Overall the people did a good job mourning those dead.
Erin,
ReplyDeleteI agree with the fact that people should have been given more freedom when mourning their loss "rather than mourning by rules". I also feel that they made this time of mourning too much about the clothing that was worn to express what they felt and think that is would have been better if this was not of such importance and the families didn't have to worry about wearing the correct apparel.
During the Civil War, men dressed in mourning considerably less than women did for a couple of reasons. One, there were far less options for men than there were for women. While men chose between armbands and badges as a token of their mourning, women had a selection of “‘walking costume’, a dinner dress, an evening dress, a ‘visiting dress’, a ‘bridal toilet,’ or perhaps a ‘reception dress’” to flaunt their grief. Accompanying these dresses were a large assortment of accessories such as “Black Crape Grenadines, Black Balzerines, Black Baryadere Bareges, Black Bareges, Black Barege Hernani, Silk Grenadines, Challies, Summer Bombazines, Mousseline de Laines, Tamises, Mourning Silks . . .” (152) The lists of women’s’ Civil War bereavement clothing goes on endlessly. Mourning was a societal trend, a status symbol. “Mourning clearly did not dictate seclusion; the fashionable—and wealthy—bereaved woman sought appropriate attire for a wide range of social activities.” (152) One fixation that has remained common among women throughout history is the magnitude of social status, the American Civil War being no exception.
ReplyDeleteThis brings us to the second justification of the lack of mournful apparel in the nineteenth century male. At the risk of sounding rather superficial, I must disclose that men, regardless of century, make a great effort to conceal their feelings. When the finality of his son’s death dawned on him, Henry Bowditch sought “‘concealment’ from others lest they witness the feelings he could not hide” (167). Bowditch is the perfect example of how men attempt to hide their feelings. He was “distressed by his ‘display of unmanliness’” (167). Faust tells us that “in its implications of loss of control and weakness, grief seemed to challenge and erode masculinity” (167). Mourning was simply not a tolerable act for men perpetrate; they wanted to appear stronger than others. Unlike men, women “sought the solace they hoped the costumes and customs of mourning could provide.” (149) Nannie Haskins, a teenage girl living in Tennessee at the time of the Civil War wrote, “‘I wear mourning because it corresponds with my feelings.’” (149) Faust declares that “mourning garb was . . . an outward and visible sign of an inward invisible state” (149). Seeing as men strive to keep their “inward invisible state” invisible, they most certainly would not “long for a way to express [their] sorrow” (150) like Susan Caldwell of Virginia did. Men are clearly not as eager to mourn as women are.
“We are literally a land of mourning.” (149) During the Civil War, mourning was considered a process that brought relief. I believe that each American had his own way of handling this process. “The Civil War’s carnage required that death be given meaning.” (170) In the eyes of Civil War America, mourning was a way in which to find this meaning and purpose to a loved one’s life. Seymour and Cross preached how “Sorrow calls for sympathy. Compassion is better than counsel . . .” They wanted the suffering to be shared and universal; which, unfortunately, was precisely that. The soaring death toll produced a “uniformed sorority of grief” (149). Despite a few variations on the topic, all mourners kept one thing in mind: The Good Death. “The Good Death was the foundation for the process of mourning.” Each American, North and South, desperately wanted the “consolations that the ars moriendi offered” (167). Civil War Americans mourned the way everyone mourns: the only way they know how. The Americans knew that the way in which they conducted themselves after a loved one’s death was the eternal memorial given to him. They knew that death was a “foundation for both spiritual and social immortality—for eternal life and lasting memory.” (163) And they knew that the work of mourning that had been taught would bring a “gradual end to the agony of loss.” (166) However elaborate mourning was made by Civil War Americans, it was just what they needed to end the “suffering of the not-dead” (161).
RE: Erin
ReplyDeleteI agree with your statement about how mourning became a woman’s ritual during the Civil War. “Mourning became a type of fashion during the Civil War and a kind of ritual in my opinion.” I’m glad that you share my views on the subject. I also like how you made quite a few comparisons between the way men and women mourn. You wrote, “Women and men also had different views on mourning. Susan Caldwell was eager to mourn for her child's death and follow the rituals of mourning, but her husband prohibited it.” Good job on finding a situation in the book that demonstrated both the man and woman’s view of mourning!
During the Civil War men dressed in mourning far less than women for a few reasons. Men felt that dressing in mourning would make them less of a man. Women were fine with showing their emotions while men were not.
ReplyDeleteI feel that the Americans handled mourning to the best that they could. Some felt it was just another death, while others felt it was very hard to get over.
Mark Miller-
ReplyDeleteI agree with you saying that the Americans handled it well. But I disagree with you saying that they should not have worn black clothing out in public to show they are mourning. If they choose to show people in public that they are mourning then that is their decision.
In response to Nick,
ReplyDeleteI agree with many of your statements, especially that fashion “made mourning seem even more like a gender exclusive practice.” You made great points to illustrate how “Americans put too much emphasis on the process of mourning during the civil war.” I agree that Americans “suffocated themselves with thoughts of anguish and despair.” There were already enough reminders of the devastation the war had caused, even without the millions of people walking around as remembrance.
I believe women dressed in mourning far more than men because "the work of mourning was largely allocated to women" (148). Women were pressured by society to be in a state of mourning more than men, which also leads to their dress. Society, even now, influences how people act and dress. So if, during that time, it was 'popular' to dress in black and to be in mourning, then people would do it.
ReplyDeleteI also think that men mourned less than women because it has always been a pressure in society for men to be 'strong', or to protect the woman. Therefore, they would not show as much emotion over a death.
I believe that Americans at that time handled mourning to the best of their ability. They did what they thought was the best way to honor the dead, while still grieving. Now, of course, things would be different. But, it seems like they handled mourning very well considering all that was happening.
Mary Harris,
ReplyDeleteYou say that you believe women should have mourned for less time, and I actually agree with you. I think it may have helped American recover more quickly if everyone had cut their mourning short and moved on, no matter how hard it was.
Men in the civil war would dress in mourning far less than woman because it was “a display of unmanliness.” (p.167). Also men in that time were more often then not, the main money maker in the household, and if they were too caught up in grieving, would not be making the money the family needed to survive. The process is similar today, men don’t like to show the “weakness” in mourning for very long, but the one who makes money can come from either men or women.
ReplyDelete"The work of mourning was largely allocated to women." I believe that men dressed in mourning far less than women because most men were in the war and had become more immune to death in order to focus on their duty in the war.
ReplyDeleteHank made a great point that men took about 3 months to 'get over' hiswife's death, while it took about 2 years for a woman to get over her husband's death.
I feel that everyone in the US during the time of Civil War, and most any war, were very well prepared for death. Although, in the Civil War I don't think that anyone was prepared for the large numbers of death, especially because of the fact that all of the fighting was between the United States. I feel that the process of mourning during the war was very personal with the clothes they wore and how they felt about each death.
During the Civil War, Men dressed less mournfully than women for a few reasons. The man reason was, "The work of mourning was largely allocated to the women." (148) Basically, mourning was the woman's "job" during the war era. Men also showed morning but much less then women did; as shown, "By convention, a mother mourned a child for a year, a child for a parent the same, a sister six months for a brother. A widow mourned two and a half years, moving through prescribed stages and accoutrements of heavy, full, and half mourning, with gradually loosening requirements of dress and deportment. A widower, by contrast, was expected to mourn only for three months." The ratio of how long a woman mourned her husband, and how long a man mourned his wife is 1:10. Also, women had to undergo full outfit adjustments to mourn men simply, "...wore tokens of mourning, armbands for lost kin, badges and rosettes..." Simple knick-knacks sufficed for men's mourning.
ReplyDeleteI feel that Americans during the Civil War handled the mourning process very poorly. It seems almost sexist that women had to change their entire wardrobe to mourn, and men only had to wear a knick-knack for a month or two. Also I think that women were honorable for wanting to show respect and love for their dead loved ones, but could've "toned it down" a little bit. Wearing all black for two years is a little much.
During the Civil War men dressed far less than women in mourning because when it came down to grieving about the close ones that had been lost, men were not as emotional as the women. Women would spen d much more to, close to about three months, grieving over the lost ones. however, the men weren't as emotional as them so they did take the time to grieve like the women did. Women also started to believe that the mourning colors were becoming a fashion. The process of how American citizens during the Civil War handled mournig was very interesting, and my opinion on it would be that it was handled appriotely and in the best possible way that they could. The fact that they handled that thety had lost one or more loved ones to war was a bog concept, and as I said before the did the best they could.
ReplyDeleteThe role of man and woman during this time period is a good thing to look at when comparing the amount of time each sex mourned the loss of loved ones. The women of that time were the emotional "backers" of the family, and the men were the ones who had to just "deal with it." This compares to battle, where the men were emotionally drained due to constant violence. They simply had no time to mourn. The woman on the other hand didn't due much to the war effort, so they had plenty of time to reflect and mourn. I believe tat the way people mourned in that time was fitting for their time period and culture. It looks different when I look at it in comparison to today, which lacks the communication delay that those back then had.
ReplyDeleteStephanie,
ReplyDeleteWell said. I agree that some mourned longer than others, and we can't really put an average up to show how much everyone mourned. It really depends on his/her circumstances.
In response to Sevan Strait
ReplyDeleteI agree with both your statements, "It seems almost sexist that women had to change their entire wardrobe to mourn, and men only had to wear a knick-knack for a month or two." and "women could have "toned it down" a little bit. Wearing all black for two years is a little much." I think the women mourned far too much and the men didn't mourn enough.
In response to Hank Hammond-
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that men are ,by nature, less emotional than women and that the men need to focus more on the fighting then on mourning if they were to survive. I also agree that showing your pain through clothing is very personal and that it can be found in modern day clothing as well.
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ReplyDeleteIn response to Jenni Robinson
ReplyDeleteI agree with your statement that "mourning seemed to almost turn into a fashion contest."
I believe that dressing in different mourning outfits for a year,like many women did during the Civil War was over the top
Brian-
ReplyDeleteAlthough I feel men should've mourned a little bit more, you make a phenomenal point when you say, "This compares to battle, where the men were emotionally drained due to constant violence. They simply had no time to mourn." These men fought all the time and were likely trained to not get emotional. Then again deaths happening constantly around you is training in itself.
During the Civil War, men dressed in mourning far less than women for many reasons. The first is not many men were in mourning as women. Another reason men dressed in mourning less than women is that it was customary for men to dress in mourning for a shorter period of time, such as three months or a year versus six months to two and a half years. I believe they handled mourning appropriately, even though it could be difficult to find clothing to dress in mourning and even more difficult to get information or to verify the death of a soldier.
ReplyDeleteDuring the Civil War, women dressed in mourning in many more ways, for a much longer time, than men. I think this could be for a variety of reasons, and maybe it is simply because women wanted to mourn in different ways than men did. But I believe that the women dressed in mourning more than men because it was expected of them too. In fact, mourning clothes even began to become stylish. However, for men, it was considered "unmanly" to mourn for long periods of time, and it showed a weakness.
ReplyDeleteI personally do not agree or disagree with their way of mourning, because I don't believe that it is my place to do so. I think that mourning is a different and personal thing from person to person, and that what works for one person may not necessarily work for another person. I just think the main hope is to heal the wounds that loss has on the heart, and I think that what ever works to help with that healing, is the right thing to do for the individual.
In response to Stephanie Hamilton-
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with what you said in your post, especially that "the Americans handled mourning to the best that they could". I think that mourning is different for everyone, and it just depends on what can bring you the most relief.
In response to Sarah Welton
ReplyDeleteI really like what you said about the men wanting the men to get the mourning over with. It was a good way to put it. I also thought it was great how you put in the part about the fashion aspect, because I know that I forgot to put that in my response.
During the Civil War, women dressed in mourning more than the men did. This was due to the society and the place they had within the society. Women were to mourn more then the men because of their status. They showed their feeling and emotions through their clothes. Most women wore black and faded into the grays and purples as the mourning stages went on. The men had mourned through armbands and clothes but for a much more shorter period of time. Men would mourn for three months versus the six monthed or even the two and a half years the women had mourned.
ReplyDeleteI believe that they Americans had processed mourning in an intresting and different way. Now a days men and women usually don't mourn to the extremes of wearing a particular color for an amount of time. I think that if that was the way it was easiest for them to help deal with the loss then it is all the better for them. I don't think it should be judged because of the extreme amount of losses and heartach all the people were going through.
I be
I agree with Brian because it is definatly different form today's people who mourn. I think that it was fit for them then becausse of the circumstances they had and the extreme amount of losses. I also agree with Katie because it was very personal and between the United States. This caused a lot of grief and turmoil.
ReplyDeleteMourning was largely allocated to women because of the huge amount of pressure on them from society which made them mourn for so long and far more than men. Also it was because most men did not have time to mourn. Men in the war could not mourn or it would affect them too much in the field of battle. Because of this men tried to not make friends with other soldiers because if and when they died they did not want to go into mourning them and be sad. Mourning also helped women through the death of loved ones and is somewhat a right of passage for them. Even with the vast numbers of deaths I think that Americans handled mourning very well by almost making it a ceremony which helped them overcome their despair.
ReplyDeleteSarah
ReplyDeleteI like your concept that people were able to handle death but they were not prepared for it, I think that was entirely true during this time. Also that the men wanted it to be over because of the fact that they were in the war was there way of mourning